{"id":13609,"date":"2018-11-28T23:01:56","date_gmt":"2018-11-28T20:01:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=13609"},"modified":"2018-11-28T21:46:21","modified_gmt":"2018-11-28T18:46:21","slug":"sauna-toxic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=13609","title":{"rendered":"1.2: Sauna.Toxic"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Am c\u0103p\u0103tat un gust pentru tipul \u0103sta de relaxare acum 4 ani, \u00een Bad Rotenfelde. E aproape o experien\u021b\u0103 narcotico-masochist\u0103 sa stai sufocat \u00eentr-o camer\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103lzit\u0103 de pietre incinse, s\u0103 te coci \u0219i pe din\u0103untru \u0219i pe dinafar\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi ias\u0103 to\u021bi demonii \u00een pic\u0103turi de fiere s\u0103rat\u0103. Cic\u0103 sl\u0103be\u0219ti, cic\u0103 te detoxifiezi. Ce \u0219tiu e c\u0103 m\u0103 simt ca un \u00eenving\u0103tor dup\u0103. Genul de \u00eenving\u0103tor dintr-un meci de box decis la puncte.<\/p>\n

Ideea e c\u0103 din saun\u0103 ie\u0219i alt om. Mai bun \u0219i mai curat \u0219i la\u0219i acolo toate p\u0103catele trupe\u0219ti, c\u0103 de cele suflete\u0219ti nu te scap\u0103 nici popa.<\/p>\n

Pe un vas de croazier\u0103 standardele sunt ajustate la multe servicii, printre care \u0219i sauna, care este unul de risc pentru hipertensivi \u0219i mo\u0219i. Mo\u0219i din \u0103ia care se deconecteaz\u0103 pentru 2-3 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni de la c\u0103ruciorul cu perfuzii \u0219i vin pentru ultima vacan\u021b\u0103 din via\u021ba lor, c\u0103 vor s\u0103 moar\u0103 pe mare. A cincea ultim\u0103 vacan\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

A\u0219a c\u0103 sauna st\u0103 setat\u0103, conform pliantelor companiei, la 55 de grade sau a\u0219a ceva.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd am intrat acolo erau doi mo\u0219i, un nene \u0219i so\u021bia. \u0218i nu \u0219tiu despre ei, dar eu c\u0103tam( reg.) <\/i>s\u0103 trag o flanel\u0103 pe mine c\u0103 era cam r\u0103coric\u0103 pe b\u0103ncile de jos. I-am cerut so\u021biei s\u0103 \u00eemi fac\u0103 loc l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea sus s\u0103 trag \u0219i eu o guri\u021b\u0103 de aer c\u0103ldu\u021b.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unde mergeam eu, \u00een Germania, sauna era setat\u0103 la 85-90 de grade, temperatur\u0103 cu care m\u0103 simt “confortabil”. La peste 90 m\u0103 retrag dup\u0103 2-3 minute \u0219i las profesioni\u0219tii s\u0103 se distreze, mie \u00eemi iau pl\u0103m\u00e2nii foc.<\/p>\n

\u00cen mod normal e recomandat s\u0103 faci saun\u0103 10 minute, hai 12, ca s\u0103 nu le\u0219ini dracului acolo. Dac\u0103 ai antrenament \u0219i temperatura e relativ mai joas\u0103 po\u021bi s\u0103 stai \u0219i 15 sau cat te \u021bine cureaua din ce \u00een ce mai scurt\u0103.<\/p>\n

Aici, dup\u0103 10 minute sim\u021beam c\u0103 \u00eemi curge prima broboan\u0103 de transpira\u021bie de pe t\u00e2mple, asta c\u0103 am parul mare. Era a\u0219a cam ca in liceu, c\u00e2nd eram la tabl\u0103 \u0219i \u00eemi d\u0103dea handicapatul \u0103la s\u0103 rezolv o problem\u0103 dificil\u0103 de matematic\u0103 la care m\u0103 poticneam \u0219i m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam c\u0103 dac\u0103 nu o fac bine m\u0103 umfl\u0103. Ceea ce se \u0219i \u00eent\u00e2mpla destul de des. Cam broboan\u0103 din \u0103ia.<\/p>\n

So\u021bia, fiind s\u0103tul\u0103 de transpira\u021bie, m-a l\u0103sat singur cu mo\u0219ii care aproape c\u0103 tr\u0103geau cu porcul acolo, la c\u0103lduric\u0103, \u00eenveli\u021bi \u00een prosoape. Mie nu \u00eemi cursese \u00eenc\u0103 a dou\u0103 broboan\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cemi imaginam c\u0103 torn ap\u0103 cu linguroiul de lemn, ca disperatul, pe pietrele uscate de sete, care se uitau la mine cu limbile scoase \u0219i implorau: “Ap\u0103, ap\u0103, o c\u0103nu\u021b\u0103 de ap\u0103!”<\/p>\n

Rezisten\u021bele electrice de sub ele v\u00e2lvoreau de zor, dar \u00een gol; c\u0103ldura din \u00eenc\u0103pere se stingea mai ceva ca focul din teracota din casa lui tata spre diminea\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen mintea mea \u00eencol\u021beau fantezii cu r\u0103sturnatul ambelor g\u0103le\u021bi, cu curul \u00een sus, peste cele dou\u0103 mald\u0103re de pietre de la capetele saunei, s\u0103 incindem un pic iadul \u0103sta, c\u0103 mai are vreo dou\u0103 respira\u021bii \u0219i \u00een ghea\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cemi imaginam c\u00e2t de cald ar fi \u0219i ce tare a\u0219 transpira dac\u0103 a\u0219 face asta, sper\u00e2nd ca imagina\u021bia s\u0103 m\u0103 ajute \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eemi fie cald pe bune. A\u0219a, cam cum \u021bi-ai fute burtoasa cu musta\u021b\u0103 de acas\u0103 \u00eemaginandu-\u021bi c\u0103 e top-model\u0103, ignor\u00e2ndu-i transpira\u021bia \u0219i mirosul de pe\u0219te ce str\u0103pung printre flocii-i mari.<\/p>\n

\u0218i degeaba, c\u0103 nu p\u0103rea c\u0103 e cu mult mai cald dec\u00e2t afar\u0103. Din fericire, mo\u0219ii se simt \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i car\u0103 carcasele din saun\u0103. Le dau 30 de secunde, timp de r\u0103zg\u00e2ndire, dup\u0103 care incep a v\u0103rsa ap\u0103 pe foc mai ceva dec\u00e2t cuco\u0219ul din “Pungu\u021ba cu doi bani”.<\/p>\n

Demonii iadului abureau peste pietrele \u00eenv\u00e2rto\u0219ate, cu un miros t\u0103ios de sare, care aproape c\u0103 \u00eemi f\u0103cea n\u0103rile s\u0103 s\u00e2ngereze. \u00cen numai 5 milimetri de nisip scurs din clepsidra de pe perete temperatura era spre 80 de grade. A\u0219a mai da.<\/p>\n

Pic\u0103tur\u0103 dup\u0103 pic\u0103tur\u0103, una mai acr\u0103 \u0219i mai s\u0103rat\u0103 dec\u00e2t cealalt\u0103, se scurgeau de pe mine de p\u0103rea c\u0103 s-a deschis robinetul cu zeam\u0103 de mur\u0103turi stricate.<\/p>\n

To\u021bi porii pielii se zb\u0103teau de durere str\u0103pun\u0219i de zoaiele satanei adunate \u00een mine \u0219i \u00een nici 2 minute dou\u0103 co\u0219uri de pe spate, ce fuseser\u0103 adineauri doar dou\u0103 puncte ro\u0219ii \u0219i dureroase, se transformaser\u0103 in pungi de venin alb sticlos, gata s\u0103 explodeze \u0219i s\u0103 acopere pere\u021bii saunei \u00eentr-un strat infect de smecleu.<\/p>\n

Nisipul se terminase de ceva timp din clepsidr\u0103, semn clar c\u0103 era vremea s\u0103 m\u0103 t\u00e2r\u00e2i de acolo, dar \u00een mintea mea \u00eenc\u0103 mai erau mici gr\u0103un\u021be de nisip care se \u021bineau at\u00e2rnate de sticla r\u0103sturnat\u0103, a\u0219tept\u00e2nd s\u0103 se scurg\u0103 toat\u0103 zeama duhului celui r\u0103u din str\u0103fundurile sufletului meu veninos.<\/p>\n

Clepsidrele de pe toti pere\u021bii se apucau de g\u00e2turi \u0219i se \u00eencol\u0103ceau in catene de ADN mai lungi dec\u00e2t coloana infinitului, iar ochii \u00eencetaser\u0103 de ceva timp s\u0103 mai priveasc\u0103 la pere\u021bii goi, sup\u021bi \u00eenspre \u00een\u0103untru s\u0103 vad\u0103 cum globulele ro\u0219ii stau \u00eenghesuite una \u00eentr-alta, \u021bin\u00e2ndu-se cu toate m\u00e2inile de ultimele pic\u0103turi de ap\u0103 dintre ele, ce se teleportau prin pere\u021bii vaselor de s\u00e2nge, din ce in ce mai gros, la marginea de din\u0103untru a pielii , doar pentru a fi \u00eempinse \u00een afar\u0103, \u00eempreun\u0103 cu ultimele dejec\u021bii ce-nfund\u0103 gurile de canalizare din \u0219oricul meu.<\/p>\n

\u00cen sf\u00e2r\u0219it simt c\u0103ldura \u00een\u0103untrul meu mai tare dec\u00e2t afar\u0103, se a\u0219terne o lini\u0219te din care deslu\u0219esc doar b\u0103t\u0103ile grele ale inimii, care se chinuie s\u0103 pompeze marmelad\u0103 deshidratat\u0103 c\u0103tre creier, pe care o topesc cu foc din pl\u0103m\u00e2ni. \u00cen lini\u0219te simt cum m\u0103runtaiele \u00eemi sunt str\u0103punse de un fier de calcat \u0219i cum tot ce-a fost odat\u0103 m\u00e2ncare e supt de orice urma de ap\u0103, iar gazele ce-mi umfl\u0103 burdihanu’ se umfl\u0103 \u00een mine \u0219i bat la u\u0219a din dos, s\u0103 ias\u0103 afar\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen semiconstien\u021ba mea, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc ce tare ar fi, \u00een z\u0103pu\u0219eala asta deliric\u0103, s\u0103 trag o lacrimogen\u0103 concentrat\u0103. Tare incon\u0219tient, probabil Sarin curat pentru urm\u0103torul oaspete al saunei ce s-ar fi impregnat cu esen\u021ba necurat\u0103 a mea. M\u0103 lupt cu dorin\u021ba de a face un r\u0103u nenecesar universului \u0219i de a-mi fute karma \u0219i b\u00e2jb\u00e2i spre ie\u0219ire \u00een spasme, lacrimi \u0219i r\u00e2uri de zoaie. Un du\u0219 rece \u00eemi repune s\u00e2ngele \u00een mi\u0219care \u0219i creierul in g\u00e2ndire \u0219i-mi decomprim\u0103 ma\u021bele c\u00e2t s\u0103 pot s\u0103 detonez \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tura chimic\u0103 \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103, urm\u00e2nd a fi justificat faptul c\u0103 am ochii ro\u0219ii cu scuza c\u0103 am stat prea mult la saun\u0103.<\/p>\n

Din saun\u0103 ie\u0219i alt om. Unul mai bun \u0219i mai curat. Acolo te lepezi de Satana.<\/p>\n

O dat\u0103, de dou\u0103 ori, de cate ori po\u021bi. Preacurat \u0219i preafericit e doar Daniel. Noi restul, doar ne men\u021binem vii.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Am c\u0103p\u0103tat un gust pentru tipul \u0103sta de relaxare acum 4 ani, \u00een Bad Rotenfelde. E aproape o experien\u021b\u0103 narcotico-masochist\u0103 sa stai sufocat \u00eentr-o camer\u0103…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13613,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[621,25],"tags":[2929,2937,2939,2938],"class_list":["post-13609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articole","category-sanatate-2","tag-croaziera-2028","tag-eseuri","tag-minte-bolnava","tag-sauna"],"views":2298,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/download-2.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-3xv","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13609","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13609"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13644,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13609\/revisions\/13644"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}