{"id":16131,"date":"2019-10-22T06:54:10","date_gmt":"2019-10-22T05:54:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=16131"},"modified":"2019-10-22T08:13:47","modified_gmt":"2019-10-22T07:13:47","slug":"sindromul-tourette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=16131","title":{"rendered":"Sindromul Tourette"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Din 25 Septembrie<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Am uitat s\u0103-l programez pentru publicare)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u0103cat, uitasem c\u0103 suf\u0103r de \u00eenjur\u0103turi compulsive \u0219i credeam c\u0103 mi-a trecut, dar Bucure\u0219ti, my love…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pentru c\u0103 e nemaiauzit pe aici s\u0103 faci un contract de v\u00e2nzare, s\u0103 semnezi, banca s\u0103 pun\u0103 banii \u00een aceea\u0219i zi \u00eentr-un cont deschis tot la ei <\/strong> special ca s\u0103 mearg\u0103 treaba ca uns\u0103, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103-s blocat un pic mai multe zile. Numai asta le ridica libidoul unor pitici care \u00eemi h\u0103r\u021buiau creierul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 ce str\u00e2nsesem tot de prin cas\u0103, inclusiv draperii \u0219i perdele, ia \u0219i pune-le \u00eenapoi s\u0103 mai dormi dou\u0103 nop\u021bi \u00een a\u0219teptarea ma\u0219inii cu p\u00e2ine. Doar c\u0103 so\u021bia are o idee mai bun\u0103, gen \u201dnu te duci tu la \u021bar\u0103? eu n-a\u0219 sta \u00een Bucure\u0219ti\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pula mea, m\u0103 uit c\u0103 tre’ s\u0103 conduc iar 360 de km dus \u00eentors \u0219i m\u0103 cost\u0103 \u0219i motorina, de-abia venisem duminic\u0103 sear\u0103, dar pe de alt\u0103 parte mai umplusem un portbagaj de c\u0103caturi pe care voiam s\u0103 le las oricum la frate-meu. Haida, c\u0103 m\u0103 ia capul \u00een casa asta pustie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De ce nu m-ar lua pe strad\u0103. B\u0103i, a fost cum a fost p\u00e2n\u0103 am ajuns pe la Victoriei, s\u0103 ma sui pe pasajul de la Basarab. Atunci mi-am dat seama, c\u0103 fiind cam ora 17:00 am ajuns fix \u00een jum\u0103tatea turmei de oi care merg \u00een Militari City Residence si Drumul Taberei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vai.de.pula.mea. M-as fi \u00eentors dar nu aveam pe unde. Am ajuns repede la ie\u0219ire, pentru o zi de miercuri, doar o or\u0103 \u0219i ceva am f\u0103cut de-acolo, \u00een total 2 \u0219i-un pic de c\u00e2nd am plecat de acas\u0103. Aha. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar c\u00e2te claxoane am auzit. La un moment dat, dup\u0103 vreo dou\u0103 minute pe pod, deschid geamul s\u0103 discut cu un domn de l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine , care il claxona pe altul c\u0103 \u201d\u00eei t\u0103iase calea\u201d. Ghilimelele sunt pentru c\u0103 totul se \u00eent\u00e2mplase la mirobolanta vitez\u0103 de mai pu\u021bin de 1 km la or\u0103, practic, era sup\u0103rat c\u0103 i-a luat locul la coad\u0103. Acum eu \u0219tiu c\u0103 la viteza asta , 4 metri mai \u00een spate ar putea \u00eensemna c\u0103 ajungi acas\u0103 cu un sfert de or\u0103 mai t\u00e2rziu, dar \u0103sta claxona inutil \u0219i disperat de 1 minut. Chiar \u0219i dac\u0103 \u00eel convingea pe \u0103la s\u0103-i dea locul \u00eenapoi , n-avea cum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i-l \u00eentreb pe distinsul domn, care a luat coptiele de pe claxon:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Exist\u0103 vreun motiv pentru care claxona\u021bi de un minut \u00eentreg?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-P\u0103i nu vezi, b\u0103, c\u0103 se b\u0103g\u0103 ca nesim\u021bitul \u00een fa\u021ba mea?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Dac\u0103 nu se b\u0103ga era cu ma\u0219ina de-a curmezi\u0219ul pe 2 benzi \u0219i \u021binea pe toat\u0103 lumea \u00een loc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218i ce treab\u0103 am eu, trebuia s\u0103 intru \u00een el, futu-i mor\u021bii m\u0103-sii!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dap, aia trebuie c\u0103 era o idee genial\u0103. Am \u00eenchis geamul \u0219i mi-am v\u0103zut de drum. Vreo 2 minute, p\u00e2n\u0103 au \u00eenceput s\u0103 claxoneze to\u021bi ca apuca\u021bii – dracu \u0219tie de ce. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen \u00eenc\u0103 10 minute am ajuns s\u0103 iubesc bicicli\u0219tii. De motocicli\u0219ti nu mai zic, cred c\u0103-s cele mai educate fiin\u021be pe dou\u0103 ro\u021bi. Pentru c\u0103 , chit c\u0103 filtreaz\u0103 traficul din mers, m\u0103car o fac atent, cu viteze mici de dep\u0103\u0219ire, fa\u021b\u0103 de viteza coloanei, s-a mai \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat \u0219i lumea cu ei \u0219i le facem loc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Iar bicicli\u0219tii, unii mai au casc\u0103, unii nu, unii mai semnalizeaz\u0103 \u0219i se opresc din filtrat traficul c\u00e2nd te-ai pornit de pe loc, al\u021bii nu, futu-i \u00een gur\u0103 de cretini, \u0219i te treze\u0219ti cu ei pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 oglind\u0103 fix cand vrei s\u0103 te dai mai acana, ca s\u0103-i faci loc vreunuia cu rabla, p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103-l apuce dizenteria de claxoane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar sunt to\u021bi ni\u0219te sfin\u021bi pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 hoarda de trotineti\u0219ti care venea din toate p\u0103r\u021bile. B\u0103, cred c\u0103 cei mai pro\u0219ti \u0219i mai pro\u0219ti dintre corporati\u0219tii rata\u021bi, care lucreaz\u0103 \u00een Pipera \u0219i locuiesc \u00een Militari, c\u0103 nu te po\u021bi numi chiar de succes, sau inteligent dac\u0103 faci asta, \u0219i-au luat trotinete, c\u0103 s-au g\u00e2ndit ei c\u0103-i o idee fantastic\u0103 s-ajung\u0103 mai repede acas\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Care mai de care mai f\u0103r\u0103 c\u0103\u0219ti, f\u0103r\u0103 vreo lumini\u021b\u0103, se b\u0103gau chiar \u0219i prin spa\u021bii foarte str\u00e2nse gen ag\u0103\u021bau oglinzile la r\u00e2nd \u0219i le mai ar\u0103tau \u0219i muie \u0219oferilor care-i \u00eenjurau, cu o m\u00e2n\u0103 pe ghidon, se \u00een\u021belege. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 am ajuns la Leu, deja m\u0103 apucase \u0219i nu mai aveam nici prepozi\u021bii f\u0103r\u0103 \u201db\u0103ga-mi-a\u0219\u201d \u0219i \u201dc\u0103cat\u201d \u0219i nu m\u0103 enerva at\u00e2t traficul c\u00e2t claxoanele \u0219i restul cretinilor ca mine, care st\u0103team bloca\u021bi ca vitele \u00een \u021barc. \u00cencepusem s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg \u0219i s\u0103 intru foarte bine \u00een pielea animalelor <\/strong><\/a>din Bucure\u0219ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu trecuser\u0103 nici dou\u0103 ore \u00eentregi \u0219i deja sim\u021beam c\u0103-mi cre\u0219te p\u0103r pe spate, m\u0103 m\u00e2nca curul iritat de babuin, pe scaunul ma\u0219inii \u0219i \u00eemi era foame de o banan\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i mi-am dat seama de o chestie. Lumea r\u00e2de de noi c\u0103 suntem provinciali \u00een Bucure\u0219ti. B\u0103, eu c\u00e2nd am ajuns \u00een ora\u0219ul \u0103la \u0219tiam s\u0103 \u00eenjur chiar \u0219i birj\u0103re\u0219te, dar nu a\u0219a ca acolo \u0219i nici nu prea \u00eenjuram defel, c\u0103 nu prea aveam de ce. \u0218i e frumos s\u0103 te ab\u021bii, chiar dac\u0103 e\u0219ti un pic cu capu’.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acolo am fost uimit s\u0103 descop\u0103r c\u0103 \u00eenjuratul \u0219i crizele de isterie sunt un mod de via\u021b\u0103, un fel de care url\u0103 mai tare \u0219i mai enervant. Habar n-am dac\u0103 asta e o apuc\u0103tur\u0103 nativ\u0103 a bucure\u0219tenilor, sau a Bucure\u0219tiului; cred c\u0103 nu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cemi place s\u0103 cred c\u0103 Bucure\u0219tenii erau ni\u0219te domni civiliza\u021bi, pe c\u00e2t se poate \u00een Rom\u00e2nia, na – dar c\u0103 aglomera\u021bia \u0219i problemele date de \u00eenghesuial\u0103 \u0219i prea multe animale \u00een ora\u0219ul \u0103sta face s\u0103 ne loveasc\u0103 agorafobia \u0219i sindromul Tourrette. \u00cemi place s\u0103 cred c\u0103 dac\u0103 Bucure\u0219tiul ar fi un ora\u0219 aerisit – nici nu mai \u0219tiu s\u0103 zic ce ora\u0219, \u00een zilele noastre, c\u0103 s-au aglomerat to\u021bi din zonele rurale, dar ori\u0219ic\u00e2t, via\u021ba ar fi mi\u0219to, f\u0103r\u0103 nervi, f\u0103r\u0103 claxoane, f\u0103r\u0103 accese de furie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u0103 oamenii ar putea sta \u00een coad\u0103 jum\u0103tate de or\u0103 pe 3 mile, cum mai stau deun\u0103zi \u00een Reading c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eenturnez dup\u0103 ce duc copiii la \u0219coal\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 o dat\u0103 ajuns unde ai treab\u0103, ziua poate fi \u00een continuare ok, nu-\u021bi ies to\u021bi mon\u0219trii pe gur\u0103 de-nsp\u0103im\u00e2n\u021bi \u0219i spurci totul \u00een jurul t\u0103u.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar e un g\u00e2nd futil, oricum. Consumul \u0103sta e mediu, nu instantaneu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

De la ie\u0219irea pe autostrad\u0103 am ap\u0103sat rabla ca apucatul p\u00e2n\u0103 pe aproape de viteza la care nu m\u0103 mai sus\u021bin nici permisul nici cauciucurile off-road \u0219i-a durat un pic p\u00e2n\u0103 am realizat c\u0103 gata, s-a dus, acuma sunt singur, acum e ok, m\u0103 pot relaxa, nu-i nevoie s\u0103 fiu eu bivolul \u0219oselelor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ajuns acas\u0103, dup\u0103 4 ore de condus, am realizat c\u0103 merit\u0103. Merit\u0103 s\u0103 dorm singur \u00een casa mea departe de plaga care ne afecteaz\u0103 pe to\u021bi \u00een Bucure\u0219ti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am dormit o noapte, am lucrat o zi, m-am \u00eentors tot noaptea, ca s\u0103 fiu singur pe strad\u0103, am mai dormit o noapte \u00een casa cu pere\u021bii goi, chircit pe canapea, acoperit cu o pern\u0103 mai mare ca s\u0103 simt diferen\u021ba. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2t am stat \u00een Bucure\u0219ti , \u00een ultimele zile de dinainte s\u0103 v\u00e2nd, fie am lucrat din cas\u0103, fie am ie\u0219it pe centru, sau la film, s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc, s\u0103 ma plimb, cu frate-meu sau singur. N-am prea v\u0103zut oameni ferici\u021bi, oameni bucuro\u0219i, oameni mul\u021bumi\u021bi. Nu i-am v\u0103zut nici \u00eenainte, dar nu \u00eemi p\u0103sa de ei, eu sunt doar cu ai mei. Ce am realizat, \u00eens\u0103, uit\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 \u00een oglind\u0103, e c\u0103 nici eu nu mai r\u00e2deam prea des, altfel dec\u00e2t isteric. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Singurul lucru bun ( \u00een sensul de util, altfel nu-i bun deloc, ci caustic) pe care \u021bi-l d\u0103 ora\u0219ul \u0103la e ura. 2 ore \u00een trafic \u0219i pleci \u00eenc\u0103rcat de ur\u0103 de po\u021bi s\u0103-l rupi pe genunchi \u0219i pe John Cena. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cred c\u0103, dac\u0103 te sim\u021bi \u00eenvins de via\u021b\u0103, dac\u0103 sim\u021bi c\u0103 nu mai ai motiva\u021bie s\u0103 faci chestii, ai nevoie s\u0103 iei un avion p\u00e2n\u0103 la Bucure\u0219ti – e ieftin, c\u00e2nd nu se \u00eentorc copiii \u00een vacan\u021be \u0219i e mai scump – \u00eenchiriezi o rabl\u0103 ( ai putea s\u0103 mergi cu taxiul, dar nu e aceea\u0219i chestie) , \u0219i conduci 2 ore \u00een marea migra\u021bie \u00eenspre sau dinspre Militari. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dup\u0103 care te po\u021bi \u00eentoarce \u00een ring, oriunde ar fi acela, cu bateriile \u00eencarcate \u0219i preg\u0103tit s\u0103-i m\u0103n\u00e2nci la micul dejul pe to\u021bi care-\u021bi stau \u00een cale. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un fel de El Camino Santiago ( nu filmul, superficialilor!), dar pe dos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu \u0219tiu c\u00e2nd sau dac\u0103 o s\u0103 mai scriu chestii despre via\u021ba din Bucure\u0219ti. Chit c\u0103 sigur mai ajung \u00een zon\u0103, probabil peste o lun\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 tund, nu r\u00e2de\u021bi<\/strong><\/a>, m\u0103 simt oficial dezombilicat de el.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Din 25 Septembrie (Am uitat s\u0103-l programez pentru publicare) C\u0103cat, uitasem c\u0103 suf\u0103r de \u00eenjur\u0103turi compulsive \u0219i credeam c\u0103 mi-a trecut, dar Bucure\u0219ti, my love……<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16310,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1244,136],"tags":[3528,691],"class_list":["post-16131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bucuresti","category-civilisation","tag-aglomeratia-din-bucuresti","tag-trafic-de-bucuresti"],"views":7794,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/IMG_20190925_172928331_HDR.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-4cb","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16131"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16315,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16131\/revisions\/16315"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/16310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}