{"id":18592,"date":"2020-10-25T05:51:53","date_gmt":"2020-10-25T05:51:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=18592"},"modified":"2020-10-25T09:46:08","modified_gmt":"2020-10-25T09:46:08","slug":"in-conflict-cu-mine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=18592","title":{"rendered":"\u00cen conflict cu mine"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dormeam \u0219i m\u0103 odihneam prost, c\u0103 f\u0103ceam analiza unui co\u0219mar ghidat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218tii, c\u00e2nd ai un co\u0219mar , te-ai putea trezi, c\u0103 te-ai prins c\u0103 e vis ( eu m\u0103 prind imediat \u0219i m\u0103 trezesc doar dac\u0103 visez c\u0103 m\u0103 pi\u0219, c\u0103 nu mai am 5 ani s\u0103 stau s\u0103 v\u0103d ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, nu se cade) dar nu vrei s\u0103 te treze\u0219ti, c\u0103 vrei s\u0103 analizezi ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, de ce \u0219i s\u0103 vezi ce po\u021bi schimba in co\u0219mar \u0219i mai ales ce e in subcon\u0219tientul t\u0103u. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

E ca un\u00a0 meci de \u0219ah \u00eentre subcon\u0219tient \u0219i con\u0219tient, cam singurul dialog\u00a0 pe care \u00eel po\u021bi purta cu cealalt\u0103 parte a ta, care n-are gur\u0103, care \u00ee\u021bi vorbe\u0219te doar in somn \u0219i pe care eu o ignor, c\u0103 dorm lemn de obicei \u0219i nu \u0219tiu ce visez ( adic\u0103 , nu inregistrez c\u0103 a\u0219 visa ).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0219a am realizat c\u0103 \u00een subcon\u0219tientul creierului tr\u0103ie\u0219te un tip care pare s\u0103 fie mai inteligent dec\u00e2t \u0103la din con\u0219tientul creierului. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cencerc s\u0103 g\u0103sesc o explica\u021bie \u0219i cred c\u0103 are leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu activitatea de \u00eenv\u0103\u021bare. Pe scurt, pro\u0219tii nu prea \u00eenva\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pe lung tipul meu din subcon\u0219tient e ceea ce \u0219i putea numi intui\u021bie ( \u00een limbaj de \u0219antier\u00a0 “instinctul meu de fat\u0103 mare nu m\u0103 \u00een\u0219eal\u0103” – Exotic “S\u0103rut” )\u00a0 adic\u0103 o construc\u021bie logic\u0103 bazat\u0103 evenimente de tip cauz\u0103-efect care se leag\u0103 \u00eentr-un anume fel \u0219i care sunt \u00eenv\u0103\u021bate din realitate, b\u0103nuiesc. Cum ar veni, o aplicare a procesului de \u00eenv\u0103\u021bare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 nu sunt mort p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, iar asta e o afirma\u021bie exact\u0103 \u0219i verificabil\u0103, nu o exagerare, e datorit\u0103 tipului \u0103luia, nu datorit\u0103 tipului \u0103stuia care e uneori prost ca noaptea \u0219i curios ca o pisic\u0103 \u0219i e destul de na\u0219pa c\u00e2nd se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 \u00een acela\u0219i timp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In mod normal, omul \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 din gre\u0219elile lui, handicapa\u021bii ca mine se preocup\u0103 de “cum a\u0219 putea s\u0103 repet gre\u0219elile dar f\u0103r\u0103 consecin\u021bele lor?” Meh, uneori asta nu iese bine, dar e greu c\u00e2nd nu e\u0219ti sf\u00e2nt \u0219i iube\u0219ti gre\u0219eala sau “p\u0103catul”, \u00een limbaj eclesiastic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tipul cel\u0103lalt e mereu la p\u00e2nd\u0103 \u0219i \u00eemi d\u0103 mereu semnalul c\u00e2nd e groas\u0103 – gen “Coaie, vezi c\u0103 e belit\u0103, f\u0103 ceva “.\u00a0 Iar c\u00e2nd e groas\u0103-groas\u0103 \u00eemi comand\u0103 direct ce s\u0103 fac , pune m\u00e2na pe volan indiferent de ce vreau eu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Problema e c\u0103 e a\u0219a obositor s\u0103 incerc s\u0103 \u00eel \u00een\u021beleg. \u00cencerc s\u0103 descos un co\u0219mar, s\u0103 \u00eel demontez punct cu punct s\u0103 v\u0103d unde m\u0103 duce. \u0218i pierd toat\u0103 noaptea salv\u00e2nd copii de abuzatori, sau omor\u00e2nd copii, depinde de copii, sau de ce \u00eencerc eu sa aflu, sau , f\u0103c\u00e2nd opera\u021bii \u0219i omor\u00e2nd pacien\u021bi \u00eentr-una \u0219i neg\u0103sind ce e in neregul\u0103 cu mine, prin bur\u021bile sau creierii \u0103lora. Pula mea, poate e de la faptul c\u0103 \u00eemi lipse\u0219te preg\u0103tirea medical\u0103, lol . \u0218i \u00eemi e a\u0219a o sc\u00e2rb\u0103 s\u0103 stau cu m\u00e2inile \u00een \u0103ia, tot timpul mi-am zis c\u0103 nu m-am f\u0103cut criminal in serie sau tor\u021bionar doar\u00a0 c\u0103 mi se pare gre\u021bos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar nu am cum altfel, \u00eei demontez inima, \u00eei repar arterele coronare \u00eenfundate, \u00eei suflu \u00een\u00a0 toate jiclerele , o pun la loc \u0219i crap\u0103, cu inima cur\u0103\u021bat\u0103 gan\u021b\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cel pornesc la loc ca pe Frankenstein, v\u0103d c\u0103 acuma inima \u00eempinge s\u00e2nge prea tare, s-a dezlipit o bucat\u0103 de colesterol de pe o arter\u0103 de la cap \u0219i i-a tras un cheag in zona care comand\u0103 pl\u0103m\u00e2nii. Iar arterele sunt toate colmatate . <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pula mea ,\u00a0 derulez , \u00eei las inima coapt\u0103 , c\u0103 nu am poft\u0103 s\u0103 cur\u0103\u021b toate arteriolele , o cur\u0103\u021b doar pe \u0103ia de la cap,\u00a0 \u00eel cos , \u00eei dau dou\u0103 palme s\u0103 se trezeasc\u0103 \u0219i ii spun c\u0103 gata, e reparat, mai are vreo 1-2 ani de via\u021b\u0103 maxim .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 str\u00e2nge de g\u00e2t \u0219i \u00eemi zice c\u0103 \u021bin cu aia care l-au otr\u0103vit. \u00cei retez brusc jugulara \u0219i o iau de la cap cu de\u0219urubatul, s\u0103 caut urme de otrav\u0103. G\u0103sesc \u0219i nu m\u0103 ajut\u0103 la nimic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cel bag in sac \u0219i anun\u021b familia c\u0103 a murit . \u00cei invit la un ceai s\u0103 le explic . \u00cei bag in ceai \u0103luia care mi se pare mai suspect. Le\u0219in\u0103, drept care pe masa de operatie cu el. \u0218tiu c\u0103 am zis “pacien\u021bi” , dar c\u00e2nd tot ce ai e un ciocan …<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218tiu c\u0103 am zis co\u0219maruri , ar implica c\u0103 nu eu le cauzez , da’ crede\u021bi c\u0103 mie mi-e u\u0219or s\u0103 fac toate c\u0103caturile astea? Aia e \u0219i nu intru in detalii c\u0103 p-orma suna\u021bi la poli\u021bie sau la psihiatrie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cert e ca dintre mine \u0219i subcon\u0219tientul meu, cel pu\u021bin unul nu e in toate min\u021bile \u0219i nu \u00eemi pas\u0103 care , vreau doar s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg ce-are \u0103la cu mine \u0219i ce vrea de la mine, de m\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103 c\u00e2nd dorm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i-acum mi-e deja somn \u0219i nu m-am trezit bine, c\u0103 am alergat toat\u0103 noaptea dup\u0103 unii care tot r\u0103peau un copil. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unii iau droguri pentru experien\u021be din astea. Eu doar pun capul pe pern\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Dormeam \u0219i m\u0103 odihneam prost, c\u0103 f\u0103ceam analiza unui co\u0219mar ghidat. \u0218tii, c\u00e2nd ai un co\u0219mar , te-ai putea trezi, c\u0103 te-ai prins c\u0103 e…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":18505,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[614,571],"tags":[4140,4139],"class_list":["post-18592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bio","category-life-log","tag-cosmaruri","tag-dialog-cu-subconstientul"],"views":1447,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/trusa-chirurgicala_1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-4PS","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18592"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18593,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18592\/revisions\/18593"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/18505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}