{"id":21405,"date":"2022-02-05T01:43:00","date_gmt":"2022-02-05T01:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=21405"},"modified":"2022-02-01T00:37:17","modified_gmt":"2022-02-01T00:37:17","slug":"altfel-se-vede-lumea-cand-mai-ai-doi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=21405","title":{"rendered":"Altfel se vede lumea c\u00e2nd mai ai doi"},"content":{"rendered":"
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O s\u0103 mai scriu din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd pe tem\u0103 pentru c\u0103 a\u0219a vreau \u0219i a\u0219a cred c\u0103 trebuie. \u0218i c\u0103 anii de glorie s-au cam dus. Probabil \u0219i m\u00e2ine, dac\u0103 am timp. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd eram prin liceu, eram boem \u0219i rupt \u00een gur\u0103, cu apogeul \u00een primul an de facultate c\u00e2nd efectiv aveam zile c\u00e2nd nu \u0219tiam cum am ajuns la curs din club cu filmul t\u0103iat \u0219i \u0219i \u00eencurcat vrai\u0219te, cu chefuri \u00een c\u0103minul de la \u201dLeu\u201d la etajul 9 sau 11, eu dans\u00e2nd pe pervazul geamului. Lumea spune c\u0103 \u00een general sunt destul de norocos de-am tr\u0103it s\u0103 povestesc asta, iar judec\u00e2nd cu mintea de acum eu am o alt\u0103 teorie, anume c\u0103 am murit de 99 de ori \u0219i e doar natural s\u0103 supravie\u021buiesc \u00eentr-o ultim\u0103 instan\u021b\u0103, oricare ar fi aia, a\u0219a c\u0103 s\u0103 ne bucur\u0103m de mine, c\u0103-s o raritate \u00een pluralitatea universurilor, zic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Treaba a \u00eenceput c\u00e2ndva prin liceu, c\u00e2nd a\u0219 fi tentat s\u0103 spun c\u0103 eram deprimat, dar nu-i a\u0219a, c\u0103 din ce citesc, eu nu cred cp am cunoscut deprimarea vreodat\u0103. Suparat, nervos, anxios, da, am fost, dar deprimat, nu \u00eemi aduc aminte. \u00cen afar\u0103 de o via\u021b\u0103 deprivat\u0103 material la vremea aia ( adic\u0103 \u00een s\u0103r\u0103cie, pentru oamenii mai simpli), de inevitabilele schimb\u0103ri \u0219i puseuri hormonale, de faptul c\u0103 eram relativ prost, conform v\u00e2rstei, \u0219i c\u0103 pozam \u00een James Dean \/ Jim Stark prin teribilism \u0219i r\u0103zvr\u0103tire \u00eemporiva oric\u0103ror valori \u0219i p\u0103\u0219team un pic din nihilismul lui Renzo Novatore ( \u0103ia care v-a\u0219tepta\u021bi s\u0103 pun aici cli\u0219eul cu Nietzsche, m\u0103-ta e proast\u0103, nu citisem nimic de el p-atunci, dar \u0219tiam deja c\u0103 nu e cazul, din critici), n-aveam nici pe dracu’. Eram doar un be\u021bivan mai agitat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

G\u00e2ndeam eu la v\u00e2rsta aia c\u0103 \u201de-he, dac\u0103 tr\u0103iesc 40 de ani \u00een ritmul de-acum asta, e tot ce-mi trebuie\u201d. Ca s\u0103 fiu sincer, atunci chiar aveam ritm \u0219i flow ( gen la consum pe suta de kilometri, nu altceva), dac\u0103 tr\u0103iam a\u0219a n-ajungeam la 40, cred. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nimic nu conteaz\u0103, important e s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti destructiv, s\u0103-\u021bi pese de c\u00e2t mai pu\u021bine ca s\u0103 ai c\u00e2t mai pu\u021bine vulnerabilit\u0103\u021bi. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 rog, ficatul \u0103la nu e de tabl\u0103, dar \u00een\u021belege\u021bi voi. Dramatizam cum \u0219i c\u00e2nd o s\u0103 fiu pe patul de moarte, o s\u0103 cer o \u021bigar\u0103 \u0219i-o sticla de gin s\u0103 beau \u00een sc\u00e2rb\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 mor, c\u0103cam a\u0219a trebuie tr\u0103it\u0103 o via\u021b\u0103, cu abnega\u021bie. Foarte original, \u0219tiu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 ar fi s\u0103 m\u0103 compar la v\u00e2rsta de 25-30 de ani cu v\u00e2rsta de 15-19 ani cred c\u0103 pe urm\u0103 beam a\u0219a la sfert. 30-35 cam la jum\u0103tate fa\u021b\u0103 de 25-30. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cei mai mul\u021bi oameni cu care m-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit matur nu prea cred c\u0103 nu mai beau \u0219i nu \u00een\u021beleg cum. E destul de dificil s\u0103 le explic c\u0103 a trebuit s\u0103 m\u0103 las de b\u0103ut aproape definitiv vreo 2 ani c\u0103 \u00eemi afecta capacitatea intelectual\u0103 \u0219i aveam nevoie s\u0103 comit unele infrac\u021biuni cu maxim\u0103 concentrare. Adic\u0103 m-am l\u0103sat de b\u0103ut ca s\u0103 pot fura cu spor, mai pe scurt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oamenii se a\u0219teapt\u0103 mereu la pove\u0219ti romantice, cu t\u00e2lc, sau m\u0103car moralizatoare. Pula mea, nu la mine. De obicei func\u021bioneaz\u0103 invers, eroii se apuc\u0103 de b\u0103ut \u0219i asta le aduce dec\u0103derea. Eu sunt tot pe dos, eram praf la \u00eenceput.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i-am contiuat, dup\u0103 cum zic, s\u0103 beau din ce \u00een ce mai pu\u021bin, cu ceva oscila\u021bii c\u00e2nd ne-am mutat \u00een UK ( \u021aARA E DE VIN\u0102, NU EU!!!) , motiv pentru care so\u021bia a \u00eenceput s\u0103 bea mai mult, adic\u0103 de la zero la c\u00e2teva pahare de vin pe s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103, poate 2-3 beri, se vede!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i ne-am intersectat undeva \u00een a\u0219a fel c\u0103 deun\u0103zi se ruga de mine s\u0103 nu bea singur\u0103 un pahar de vin \u0219i st\u0103team \u0219i m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam c\u0103, b\u0103i tat\u0103, eu mi-am cam b\u0103ut por\u021bia \u0219i i-am explicat cum c\u0103-n tinere\u021be visam s\u0103 beau ca porcul \u201ds-ajung eu la 40 de ani\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-\u0218I MAI AM DOAR DOI!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0103 fie al dracu’, jur c\u0103 n-am risipit to\u021bi anii \u0103\u0219tia s\u0103 m\u0103 uit acum cu dezam\u0103gire \u0219i ne\u00eemplinire – sunt chiar mul\u021bumit de mine \u0219i de cum au ie\u0219it lucrurile p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, dar parc\u0103 doar doi ani s\u0103 fi r\u0103mas sunt cam pu\u021bini… \u0218i-o sut\u0103 dac-ar fi ca \u0103\u0219tia de acum nu mi-ar ajunge. Dar n-o s\u0103 fie, \u0219tiu. \u0218i poate ar trebui, nu c\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 poc\u0103iesc, dar s\u0103 am grij\u0103 de mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu-s bolnav, nu m\u0103 resimt, n-am nici pe dracu’ . Dar parc\u0103 nu vreau s\u0103-mi mai bat joc de mine, acuma vreau s\u0103 legumesc ce mi-a mai r\u0103mas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 o s\u0103 citeasc\u0103 r\u00e2ndurile \u0103stea vreodat\u0103 cineva de v\u00e2rsta liceului \u0219i n-o s\u0103 spun c\u0103 o s\u0103 regret vreodat\u0103 via\u021ba aia, c\u0103 nu prea e cazul. A fost frumos, dar cam scump. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vreau doar s\u0103 spun c\u0103 pe partea asta am avut un pic de noroc, c\u0103 se putea termina destul de devreme \u0219i brutal, asta o dat\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 repet, c\u0103 am mai zis, c\u0103 vreo 8 ani de b\u0103utur\u0103, de la circa 12 ani la 20, au f\u0103cut diferen\u021ba. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Diferen\u021ba de la un copil genial (\u0219i cam tocilar) care putea \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba aproape orice doar frunz\u0103rind cartea, la un om normal, care avea dificultate s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be matematici complexe prin facultate. Am zis c\u0103 prea am furat startul, trebuie s\u0103 intru \u00een r\u00e2ndul lumii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am convertit ni\u0219te inteligen\u021b\u0103 \u00een \u0219coala vie\u021bii, ni\u0219te dexteritate \u0219i concentrare la studiu \u00een gol\u0103neal\u0103. Am ales o cale, m-am \u00eentors la un moment dat, c\u0103 nu mi-a mai pl\u0103cut. N-am s\u0103 dau vreodat\u0103 sfaturi cuiva c\u0103 \u201ds\u0103 nu bei\u201d, am s\u0103 spun doar c\u0103 exist\u0103 costuri \u0219i fiecare s\u0103-\u0219i calculeze c\u00e2t vrea s\u0103-l coste. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exist\u0103 o perioad\u0103 \u00een via\u021b\u0103 c\u00e2nd hormonii \u0219i chimicalele din corp trebuie anesteziate cumva. Alcoolul e mai rau dec\u00e2t alte metode \u0219i mai bun dec\u00e2t unele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perioada aia trece \u0219i, dac\u0103 vrei mai mult de la tine, trebuie s\u0103 te cam educi \u0219i s\u0103 te echilibrezi singur. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am s\u0103 fac o u\u0219oar\u0103 paralel\u0103 la o v\u00e2rst\u0103 mai sus, experien\u021b\u0103 pe care n-o am, dar \u00eel am pe tata. Tata n-a fost be\u021bivan, de-a lungul vie\u021bii l-am v\u0103zut de c\u00e2teva ori s\u0103 fi b\u0103ut a\u0219a la un pahar \u00een plus, el pe mine m-a v\u0103zut de mai multe ori mut, sau mahmur praf.
Dar de b\u0103ut bea, regulat, de la o v\u00e2rsta, de\u0219i dup\u0103 o v\u00e2rst\u0103 \u0219i mai \u00eenaintat\u0103 a c\u0103p\u0103tat ni\u0219te probleme. Nu musai de la b\u0103utur\u0103, de\u0219i alcoolul nu prea avea cum s\u0103 ajute ( \u00een articolul urm\u0103tor c\u0103 am pu\u021bin\u0103 treab\u0103). A fost de la mult\u0103 munc\u0103 \u0219i \u00een condi\u021bii grele. O vreme o ardea c\u0103 aia e, c\u0103 i s-a terminat gazul din lamp\u0103. C\u0103. I-am explicat c\u00e2teva lucruri \u0219i i-am adus nepo\u021bii acas\u0103 \u0219i dup\u0103 ni\u0219te repara\u021bii m-am trezit c\u0103 n-a mai b\u0103ut deloc. De c\u00e2\u021biva ani deja. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i repet, nu avea o problem\u0103 notabil\u0103 cu b\u0103utura, dar bea zilnic de c\u00e2nd ie\u0219ise la pensie, 100-200 ml de \u021buic\u0103 de control \u0219i de direc\u021bie. Acuma nu mai avem ce s\u0103 facem cu alcoolul, c\u0103 ne place s\u0103 producem din astea dar nu prea mai are cine s\u0103 consume. C\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd ai valori mai bune, c\u00e2nd via\u021ba merit\u0103 mai mult dec\u00e2t ultimul pahar, altfel vezi lucrurile.
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O s\u0103 mai scriu din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd pe tem\u0103 pentru c\u0103 a\u0219a vreau \u0219i a\u0219a cred c\u0103 trebuie. \u0218i c\u0103 anii de glorie s-au…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":11731,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[571,262,500,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life-log","category-lifestyle","category-self","category-sanatate-2"],"views":1728,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/drinkanddrive.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-5zf","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21405"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21406,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21405\/revisions\/21406"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11731"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}