{"id":24111,"date":"2023-02-19T13:20:18","date_gmt":"2023-02-19T13:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=24111"},"modified":"2023-02-19T13:20:18","modified_gmt":"2023-02-19T13:20:18","slug":"trei-lulele-trei-surcele","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=24111","title":{"rendered":"Trei lulele , trei surcele"},"content":{"rendered":"
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1. Despre partea \u00eenchin\u0103rii<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Veneam dinspre ora\u0219 dup\u0103 o opera\u021biune birocratic\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 gr\u0103beam cum nu trebuie s\u0103 te gr\u0103be\u0219ti c\u00e2nd conduci prin localit\u0103\u021bi, aproape de limita la care graba te las\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 permis auto, dar uite c\u0103 e \u0219i limita aia bun\u0103 la ceva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00centr-o comun\u0103, o femeie pe biciclet\u0103 mergea at\u00e2t de tremurat \u00eenc\u00e2t am putut s\u0103 observ asta de la aproape jum\u0103tate de kilometru. V\u00e2rsta ei bag seam\u0103, \u0219i faptul c\u0103 aveam ochelarii cura\u021bi \u00een diminea\u021ba aia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Drept care m-am gr\u0103bit \u0219i eu mai \u00eencet, c\u0103 nu \u0219tii. De fapt baba, se preg\u0103tea s\u0103 mearg\u0103 cu o m\u00e2n\u0103 pe corn, c\u0103 trecea prin dreptul bisericii \u0219i \u0219tii cum e, nu se cade s\u0103 treci f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l \u00een\u0219tiin\u021bezi p-\u0103l de sus , de-o miloag\u0103 \u00een numele tat\u0103lui \u0219i-al fiului, \u00eenainte s\u0103-\u021bi dai duhul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A f\u0103cut crucea mare, pe c\u00e2t am putut s\u0103 v\u0103d eu din spate, \u0219i, pun\u00e2nd m\u00e2na \u00eenapoi pe corn, a luat-o de-a dreptul peste drum de am crezut c\u0103 o s\u0103 se pr\u0103bu\u0219easc\u0103 in fa\u021ba mea. A ajutat-o b\u0103rbosul, c\u0103 eram pe faz\u0103 \u0219i am putut fr\u00e2na. Vezi? D-aia e bine s\u0103 te \u00eenchini \u00eenainte s\u0103 faci sinuciga\u0219e din astea de traversat strada f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 te ui\u021bi! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am crezut c\u0103 o fi p\u0103\u021bit ceva, dar nu, acolo locuia ea, cred , sau acolo avea treab\u0103 pe partea aia a str\u0103zii, c\u0103 am v\u0103zut \u00een oglind\u0103 cum a cobor\u00e2t de e biciclet\u0103 \u0219i mergea c\u0103tre poart\u0103. M\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 e na\u0219pa s\u0103 ai casa fix l\u00e2ng\u0103 biseric\u0103, adic\u0103 nu numai cu bicicleta, dar \u0219i dac\u0103 era cu ma\u0219ina, c\u00e2nd s\u0103 te \u00eenchini, c\u00e2nd s\u0103 semnalizeze \u0219i s\u0103 te asiguri \u0219i s\u0103 si virezi la fix. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ar trebui inventat un semn de “Aten\u021bie, biseric\u0103 ” ceva cruce \u00een triunghi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Erau dou\u0103, dar sunt folosite pentru altceva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Bascal\u021bone <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In alt\u0103 zi, am mers s\u0103 m\u0103 tund , adic\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 aranjez a\u0219a un pic c\u0103 aveam p\u0103rul prea claie chiar \u0219i pentru un nebun de la stabilimentul de dinvale. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mers din nou la frizeria la care m\u0103 tundeam in liceu din centrul ora\u0219ului, unde intru, dau bun\u0103 ziua, pun basca \u00een cui la vedere s\u0103 nu o uit.. Cred c\u0103 \u00eei spune “Igiena” de\u0219i nu-i recomand\u0103 asta, dar na, mi s-au erodat \u0219i mie standardele de igien\u0103 de c\u00e2nd o ard prin UK. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fine, de 30 de lei m\u0103 tund mai bine ca gagicile din UK de 50 de lire , c\u0103 nici nu m\u0103 uit s\u0103 \u00eemi mai des restul la 50 de lei. 9 lire. Hahahaha. Si cu g\u00e2ndul \u0103sta plec de la tuns, trec prin mall \u0219i cump\u0103r un troller cu o bretea se separa\u021bie rupt\u0103 pe care nu o v\u0103d, c\u0103 am f\u0103cut iar\u0103\u0219i un deal bun. Cu tunsul. \u0218i conduc 20 de kilometri p\u00e2n\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103, b\u0103i, unde mi-e \u0219apca. M\u0103 uit prin ma\u0219in\u0103, prin pungi prin nimic \u0219i pe nic\u0103ieri nu o v\u0103d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 enervez \u0219i \u00eemi zic cu voce tare , c\u0103 nu e nimeni \u00een ma\u0219in\u0103, c\u0103 de aia nu vreau s\u0103 \u00eemi cump\u0103r eu p\u0103l\u0103rii \u0219i \u00een general haine scumpe, c\u0103 nu am poft\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc dup\u0103 ele c\u00e2nd le pierd. Dac\u0103 a r\u0103mas \u00een urm\u0103, dus\u0103 e. Cine arde motorin\u0103 cale de 40 de km ( vreo 2 litri, c\u0103 eram cu rabla lui tata ) \u0219i pierde timp pentru o basc\u0103. \u0218i uite a\u0219a pe la pr\u00e2nz m\u0103 aflam iar \u00een u\u0219a frizeriei, c\u0103 dac\u0103 am cump\u0103rat basc\u0103 de 400 de lei<\/a>, m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u0219i pe Lun\u0103 dup\u0103 ea, dac\u0103 o uit acolo. Futu-i mama ei de via\u021b\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i \u00eei explic lui tanti c\u0103 cred c\u0103, ce s\u0103 cred , s\u0103 nu cred nimic, c\u0103 dac\u0103 o uitam acolo o g\u0103seau ele, iar ele nu au g\u0103sit nimic . Ridic din umeri cu tot cu m\u00e2ini a pagub\u0103, mul\u021bumesc, m\u0103 \u00eentorc \u0219i lovesc cu m\u00e2inile \u00een buzunarele gecii sup\u0103rat c\u0103 am f\u0103cut drumul \u00eenapoi degeaba. L-am f\u0103cut degeaba c\u0103 simt \u0219apca \u00een buzunar, deci nu avea cum s\u0103 fi fost la frizerie. Totul din cauz\u0103 c\u0103 mi-am luat haine scumpe. ‘de plm…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Alimentare ca la carte <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen acela\u0219i drum de mai \u00eenainte \u00eemi zic b\u0103i, am mers de m-am s\u0103turat azi, \u00eei bag lui tata motorina \u00eenapoi c\u0103 am luat-o plin\u0103. Nu consumasem niciun sfert , dar tata e pensionar \u0219i zic s\u0103 nu \u00eel abuzez. Destul c\u0103 \u00eei mai iau ma\u0219ina c\u00e2nd so\u021bia plecat\u0103 cu Hyundai-ul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trag \u00eentr-un peco Petrom cu motorin\u0103 ieftin\u0103 c\u0103 nu merit\u0103 Opelul \u0103la din aia scump\u0103 de la Rompetrol de care bag la Hyundai \u0219i m\u0103 chinui s\u0103 indes vreo 9 litri de motorin\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 glum\u0103, a\u0219a \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 tata cred c\u0103 are rezervorul cam mic. Nu conteaz\u0103, bag p\u00e2n\u0103 vomit\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u00e2nd termin \u0219i ridic pompa nu iau sama c\u0103 bate un v\u00e2nt de te baloneaz\u0103 dac\u0103 stai cu spatele \u0219i \u00eemi ia ultima pic\u0103tur\u0103 din pomp\u0103, in cantitate de vreo cinzeac\u0103 \u0219i mi-o d\u0103 pe geac\u0103. La casa unde se uit\u0103 casiera la mine nu ca la un s\u0103rac obi\u0219nuit care baga de 50 de lei ( erau vreo 60) , ci ca la unul retardat, c\u0103 eu m\u0103 uitam cum se \u00eentindeau \u0219i se uneau petele de motorin\u0103 de pe geac\u0103 . <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam c\u0103 pe o parte e perfect, c\u0103 de c\u00e2nd a\u0219tept s\u0103 se strice geaca asta , pe de alt\u0103 parte Maine plec \u00een UK \u0219i nu am alta mai bun\u0103 prin Rom\u00e2nia, c\u0103 din alea pe care le am, una de ski e OK, restul ba roase de vreme , ba alte pete de dracu \u0219tie ce , care nu au ie\u0219it. \u0218i februarie nu e chiar luna s\u0103 pleci f\u0103r\u0103 geac\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Da-mi \u00eentrerupe tanti contemplarea cu un : <\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Dedu\u0219i pe tinee?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Mda, cam bate v\u00e2ntul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Tu n-ai \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat p\u00e2n\u0103 la v\u00e2rsta asta s-o scuturi? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u0103 ab\u021bin s\u0103 \u00eei zic c\u0103 prefer s\u0103 o \u0219terg pe draperie, c\u0103 are v\u00e2rsta mamei. Pl\u0103tesc \u0219i plec \u00een t\u0103cere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A spalag-o mama o dat\u0103, so\u021bia \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103 \u0219i a frecat manual petele, nu se mai vede nimic. Pe semne nu vor s\u0103 \u00eemi cump\u0103r alt\u0103 geac\u0103. Data viitoare o s\u0103 \u0219tiu mai bine, \u00eemi pun \u0219i \u00een buzunare vreo 2 litri de motorin\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Despre partea \u00eenchin\u0103rii Veneam dinspre ora\u0219 dup\u0103 o opera\u021biune birocratic\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 gr\u0103beam cum nu trebuie s\u0103 te gr\u0103be\u0219ti c\u00e2nd conduci prin localit\u0103\u021bi, aproape…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":24110,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,571],"tags":[987],"class_list":["post-24111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general-trash","category-life-log","tag-romania"],"views":995,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/29752_1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-6gT","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24111"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24111\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/24110"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}