{"id":2423,"date":"2015-06-11T21:36:00","date_gmt":"2015-06-11T19:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=2423"},"modified":"2015-06-12T13:51:22","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T11:51:22","slug":"portret-de-mos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=2423","title":{"rendered":"Portret de mo\u0219"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p>Rom\u00e2nii sunt h\u00e2tri. Mai ales mo\u0219ii. \u0218i \u00eemi fac scarba, \u00een hatrosenia lor. Cum pula mea am ma eu bulan numa&#8217; de dubio\u0219i!\u00a0 Zici ca ii atrag, sau ceva.<\/p>\n<p>Stau \u00een spatele unui mo\u0219 cretin,\u00a0 care se crede h\u00e2tru. Ur\u0103sc cuv\u00e2ntul h\u00e2tru.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\n\u00cen literatura era folosit pentru a defini personaje cu sim\u021bul umorului,\u00a0 de cele mai multe ori negru(wannabe),\u00a0care faceau haz de necaz. Dar c\u00e2nd citeai &#8220;glumele&#8221;, realizai ca-s ni\u0219te b\u0103\u0219ini expirate de \u021b\u0103rani prosti. \u0218i ca personajele erau ni\u0219te \u021b\u0103rani pro\u0219ti,\u00a0 care i-ar putea amuza doar pe ni\u0219te \u021b\u0103rani \u0219i mai pro\u0219ti.<br \/>\nBine\u00een\u021beles ca de cum \u00eemi exprimam o astfel de p\u0103rere, cum eram privit ca un \u021b\u0103r\u0103noi\u00a0 grobian\u00a0 care nu apreciaz\u0103 h\u00e2trii literaturii romane \u0219i &#8220;3&#8221;, ce pula mea.<\/p>\n<p>Mo\u0219ului i-as fute una \u00een ochi sa \u00ee\u0219i vad\u0103 de treab\u0103 \u0219i sa ma r\u0103zbun pentru toate c\u0103r\u021bile rom\u00e2ne\u0219ti proaste pe care le-am citit \u0219i pentru to\u021bi h\u00e2trii pe care i-am \u00eendesat pe gat cu scarba,\u00a0 doar ca numai \u00een Rom\u00e2nia po\u021bi sa ba\u021bi pe cineva \u0219i sa nu \u021bi se \u00eent\u00e2mple nimic. \u00een plus, \u00eencerc sa devin un om mai civilizat, nu sa redevin o lichea. Ma uit pe geam.<\/p>\n<p>Vine cu un bagaj gros ca un acordeon \u0219i se mira ca nu ii \u00eencape \u00een sertarul de deasupra\u00a0 scaunului. Zice ca &#8220;au micit \u0103\u0219tia sertarele&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cel \u00eentreab\u0103 pe unul dac\u0103 \u00eel las\u0103 pe el la geam, gen pe locul F. 18F. \u00cel las\u0103 asta. Pe urma vine alt pasager \u0219i se pl\u00e2nge ca n-are unde sta. Pai normal ca nu are, ca mo\u0219ulic\u0103 \u0219i nevasta-sa\u00a0 nu au de fapt loc pe partea cu DEF,\u00a0 ci ei au 18A,B.<\/p>\n<p>Stewardesa \u00eel cite\u0219te ce om e \u0219i nu \u00eel mai muta. Eu l-as fi mutat \u00een \u0219uturi.<br \/>\nSe a\u0219eaz\u0103, apoi se ridica \u0219i cere voie celorlal\u021bi pasageri (nevasta-sa \u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 unul) ,\u00a0 ca mai vrea sa pun\u0103 el ceva sus, ca ii e cald ( geaca, gen).<\/p>\n<p>Se ridica,\u00a0 deranjeaz\u0103 lumea, apoi o \u00eentreab\u0103 pe stewardesa dac\u0103 nu poate sa fac\u0103 frig. Poate,\u00a0 da&#8217; mai \u00eencolo.<\/p>\n<p>Eh,\u00a0 tre&#8217; sa-i spun\u0103 el ca voia sa se dezbrace,\u00a0 dar dac\u0103 face frig nu se mai dezbrac\u0103.\u00a0 \u0218i trebuie sa o \u0219i &#8220;lini\u0219teasc\u0103 &#8221; ca nu avea de g\u00e2nd sa se dezbrace de tot.<\/p>\n<p>Gen, sa-mi bag pula \u00een glumele tale ba mo\u0219ule,\u00a0 stai jos ca nu ii mai pasa nim\u0103nui dac\u0103 te dezbraci de tot, sau nu. Nici lu&#8217;\u00a0 nevasta-ta. Dac\u0103 nu pu\u021bi a mort e suficient.\u00a0 Te suportam.<br \/>\nDa&#8217; nu, nu sta jos. O \u00eentreab\u0103 \u00een care parte merge avionul, ca un retardat alzhaimerist&#8230;<br \/>\n&#8211; Aaaa, deci suntem \u00een coada?\u00a0 Na\u0219pa, coada se rupe prima.<br \/>\nNimeni nu rade nici nu se \u00eengrijoreaz\u0103.<br \/>\n-Pai nu \u0219ti\u021bi, doamna, ca la c\u00e2ine coada se rupe prima?<br \/>\nIi spune doamna ca poate azi avem noroc.<br \/>\nNorocu&#8217; ma-tii, stai \u00een pula mea jos odat\u0103!<\/p>\n<p>Mai face doua glume de la 1918 \u0219i sta jos.<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i de jos continua sa fie el cacat cu mo\u021b de cate ori trece vreo stewardesa pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 el. Ba ca e lumina prea \u00eentuneric \u0219i nu vede sa citeasc\u0103, ba ca sa ii spun\u0103 el un banc cu avioane de pe vremea lu&#8217; Coand\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Ba, z\u0103u a\u0219a! Cat de terminat sa fii sa crezi ca \u0219tii tu un banc cu avioane pe care stewardessele nu l-au auzit.<br \/>\nDa&#8217; alea ce bancuri crezi ca \u0219tiu? Cu mo\u0219i?<\/p>\n<p>Frate, genu&#8217; de om care se tine scai de te face sa te blestemi ca l-ai b\u0103gat \u00een seama, de c\u00e2nd \u00eel vezi te ui\u021bi \u00een partea opus\u0103 \u0219i te faci ca nu \u00eel auzi, \u00ee\u021bi scuipi \u00een san \u0219i-\u021bi zici ca pentru tine: Bah, dar nu mai mori odat\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>Genul ala de mos de care am sa devin eu. Eh, p-astia i-as bate!<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/wpid-wp-1434051373024.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full\" title=\"wp-1434051373024\" src=\"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/wpid-wp-1434051373024.jpeg\" alt=\"image\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ma uit la el \u00een timp ce scriu, ca Victor Brauner \u00een timp ce picta Autoportretul cu ochiul scos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rom\u00e2nii sunt h\u00e2tri. Mai ales mo\u0219ii. \u0218i \u00eemi fac scarba, \u00een hatrosenia lor. Cum pula mea am ma eu bulan numa&#8217; de dubio\u0219i!\u00a0 Zici ca&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"chat","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[465,463,464],"class_list":["post-2423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-chat","hentry","category-general-trash","tag-eu-peste-50-de-ani","tag-om-hatru","tag-portret-de-mos","post_format-post-format-chat"],"views":1670,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-D5","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2423"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2432,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423\/revisions\/2432"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}