{"id":26979,"date":"2024-02-02T05:42:00","date_gmt":"2024-02-02T05:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=26979"},"modified":"2024-02-02T07:17:16","modified_gmt":"2024-02-02T07:17:16","slug":"vreau-sa-torturez-doi-oameni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=26979","title":{"rendered":"Vreau s\u0103 torturez doi oameni"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n\n

Preferabil pe r\u00e2nd, ca s\u0103 nu risc s-o iau eu pe cocoa\u0219\u0103. C\u00e2nd am plecat de acas\u0103 voiam s\u0103 bat numai unul, c\u0103 cu g\u00e2ndul \u0103la am plecat, c\u0103 unde \u00eel g\u0103sesc s\u0103-i dau o mam\u0103 de b\u0103taie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cel mai r\u0103u lucru care mi s-ar putea \u00eentampla e s\u0103 dau de ei \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eei zdrobesc \u00een cel mai inuman om posibil \u0219i s-ajung \u00een pu\u0219c\u0103rie, c\u0103 dracu’ mi-e martor c\u0103 nu-i vina mea, dar am fantezii despre cum \u00eei bag cu capul \u00een vitrina frigorific\u0103 \u0219i \u00eei plesnesc cu u\u0219a p\u00e2n\u0103 se amestec\u0103 condensul cu s\u00e2ngele lor de numai \u00een\u021belegi nimic din raionul de carne congelat\u0103 cum nu mai \u00een\u021beleg eu nimic din tot magazinul lor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aflat \u00een supermarket, m\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lnesc, deja din ce \u00een ce mai des, cu oameni nebuni de tot soiul, a\u0219a ca mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Data trecut\u0103 l-am v\u0103zut pe unul \u00een ni\u0219te colan\u021bi mula\u021bi de i se vedeau coaiele ca dou\u0103 bile, jur. Am crezut c\u0103 e vreun d-\u0103la cu feti\u0219uri sexuale, sau cum le zice acuma, dar dup\u0103 privire \u0219i ticuri nervoase, era s\u0103racul din cel\u0103lalt, cred c\u0103 \u00eel oripilase magazinul \u0103stora ca \u0219i pe mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De data asta era unul \u00een tricou \u0219i pantaloni scur\u021bi, pe la 7 seara zic. \u0102sta nu sunt sigur c\u0103 era nebun, poate era doar britanic vero, \u0103\u0219tia sunt vestitorii prim\u0103verii, cum se fac 10 grade afar\u0103 cum \u00eei vezi aproape \u00een curul gol pe strad\u0103, fie b\u0103rba\u021bi fie femei. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alt\u0103 tanti avea o pelerin\u0103 din aia de super-erou pe care o f\u00e2lf\u00e2ia prin magazin \u00een timp ce \u00ee\u0219i \u00eempingea copilul \u00een c\u0103rucior \u00een fug\u0103, ca un supererou de supermarket. Nu \u0219tiu de unde s\u0103 zic c\u0103 era, dar mirosea a Ka\u0219mir, nu \u021bes\u0103tura, regiunea. Nici nu \u0219tiu ce supereroi au pelerin\u0103 neagr\u0103, parc\u0103 era unu’ Rumburak, sau ceva. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mi-a trecut prin cap vreo dou\u0103 secunde s-o filmez cu telefonul, dar nu te pui cu super-eroii nervo\u0219i, dac\u0103 \u0219i ea c\u0103uta pe cineva s\u0103 bat\u0103 \u0219i se \u00eent\u00e2lnea cu mine, avea \u0219i un cap \u0219i jum\u0103tate peste mine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ce nu g\u0103seam \u00een magazinul \u0103la erau produsele pentru care eram acolo, futu-i Sainsbury-ul mor\u021bilor mamii lui. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cemi ia jum\u0103tate de an s\u0103 g\u0103sesc tot ce caut pe acolo; tocmai c\u00e2nd am, ca robotul de m\u0103turat, harta f\u0103cuta \u00een cap \u0219i gata s\u0103 ac\u021bionez eficient, \u0103\u0219tia schimb\u0103 a\u0219ezarea produselor la raioane. M\u0103 simt ca Sisif cu bolovanul \u00een sus la deal, m\u0103 simt ca un \u0219obolan ce-ncearc\u0103 s\u0103 road\u0103 un sac \u00een mi\u0219care, pot s\u0103 jur c\u0103 \u0103\u0219tia rea\u0219eaz\u0103 produsele ca s\u0103 ne plimb\u0103m to\u021bi ca bezmeticii prin magazinul lor de c\u0103cat, c\u0103 ei \u0219tiu c\u0103 noi to\u021bi vrem s\u0103 pierdem c\u00e2t mai pu\u021bin timp acolo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i-mi aduc aminte c\u0103 prin tinere\u021be am aflat de o meserie nou\u0103 prin Rom\u00e2nia – merchandiser. Cu toat\u0103 engleza \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat\u0103 jur c\u0103 n-am \u0219tiut niciodat\u0103 cum se pronun\u021b\u0103 corect, c\u0103 de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd dau s\u0103 spun scuip cuv\u00e2ntul \u0219i pe cine e \u00een fa\u021ba mea, ave\u021bi grij\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aparent scopul \u0103luia era s\u0103 pun\u0103 produsele la raft, dar nu ca orice aprovizionator, ci cu un fengshui anume de marketing, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi sar\u0103 \u00een ochi , sanchi \u0219i s\u0103 t\u0103b\u0103r\u0103\u0219ti pe raftul cu produse s\u0103-l gole\u0219ti \u00een c\u0103rucior. Aiurea, pe vremea aia erau unele branduri care pl\u0103teau mai scump display-ul c\u0103tre retailer \u0219i li se permitea s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i a\u0219eze produsele \u00een dauna altora – 3 metri de raft cu berea cea mai bun\u0103 din lume Bergenbier, sau Noroc; Stella Artois, doar dou\u0103 sticle pitulate \u00eentr-un col\u021b. Cum se face acum cu Gillette, de exemplu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am citit \u0219i eu s\u0103 v\u0103d care e defini\u021bia jobului \u0219i aparent ar trebui s\u0103 ne ajute<\/a>. Dac\u0103 ne mai ajut\u0103 mult a\u0219a, \u00eennebunim to\u021bi. \u00cen ultimele 6 luni au mutat \u0103\u0219tia apa unde era berea, berea unde era ginul, ginul pe alee cu vinul, cipsurile unde era apa, dulciurile tot acolo , dar le-au f\u0103cut shuffle, cafeaua unde erau cipsurile , iar ultima , au mutat h\u00e2rtia de copt \u0219i staniolul alimentar unde era – nu \u0219tiu ce pula mea mai era l\u00e2ng\u0103 detergen\u021bi, dar c\u00e2nd mi-o trebui \u0219i aia o s-o caut prin podul magazinului sau pe undeva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u0103, nu mai suport. Merg acolo cu g\u00e2ndul s\u0103 plec \u00een 20 de minute \u0219i \u00een mai pu\u021bin de-o or\u0103 nu pot ie\u0219i, c\u0103 de fiecare dat e ceva mutat \u0219i uneori b\u00e2ntuie \u0219i angaja\u021bii cu mine de m\u00e2n\u0103 c\u0103 nu mai \u0219tiu nici ei. A\u0219a mi-a zis o tanti pe care am \u00eentrebat-o de ni\u0219te anim\u0103lu\u021be de la C\u0103catbury<\/a> . \u021a\u00e2fnoas\u0103, cu m\u00e2inile \u00een \u0219olduri se uit\u0103 la mine \u0219i \u00eemi zice \u00een doi peri : <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Nu mai \u0219tiu, s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta erau aici!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chiar erau, o idee mai \u00eencolo, dar nu mai aveau, era cutia goal\u0103, dar asta mi-a dat de \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 \u0219i angaja\u021bii lor sunt exaspera\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\u0219a c\u0103 dac\u0103 \u0219tie cineva cine e merchandiser la Sainsbury, numele \u0219i adresa; de fapt, nu. Vreau doar s\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u00e2nd lucreaz\u0103, \u0219i c\u00e2nd mut\u0103 ei produsele dintr-un loc \u00een altul eu le iau \u0219i le mut \u00een alt\u0103 parte \u0219i c\u00e2nd vine \u0219i se ia cu m\u00e2inile de cap, vreau s\u0103-l apuc eu s\u0103-l bag cu capul \u00eentr-o cutie din aia mare de detergent, \u00eel t\u00e2rasc a\u0219a p\u00e2n\u0103 g\u0103sesc raionul cu ap\u0103, \u0219i \u00eei torn 3 sticlu\u021be din \u0103lea la 0.5l, de care \u00eemi aduc \u0103ia la comanda online, \u00een loc de sticle de 5 litri, pentru ce pula lor, similar products, \u0219i s\u0103-l las s\u0103 se \u00eenece \u00een n\u0103molul format, c\u00e2nd moare vreau s\u0103 v\u0103d balona\u0219e de detergent parfumat ( Ariel din \u0103la cu Lenor) c\u0103 ies din cutie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Probabil c\u0103 dac\u0103 nimeresc un complet de judecat\u0103 ( sau un juriu, aici te judec\u0103 oameni ca tine pentru crime) format din oameni care n-au fost la Sainsbury \u00een ultimul an o s\u0103-mi iau ceva via\u021b\u0103 \u00een pu\u0219c\u0103rie, dar dac\u0103 au fost \u0219i ei, am \u0219anse!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bine\u00een\u021beles c\u0103 sunt prost eu, \u0219i frustrat, c\u0103 puteam s\u0103 stau acas\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 nu am treab\u0103 cu astea, f\u0103ceam , tap-tap, o comand\u0103 online. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cum am \u0219i f\u0103cut. Mereu fac c\u00e2te o comand\u0103 online, o s\u0103 fac una chiar dup\u0103 ce termin de descris cum \u00eei torturez pe \u0103\u0219tia doi, dar nu func\u021bioneaz\u0103 cum ai vrea. Pun \u0219i eu ni\u0219te ce-mi trece prin cap \u00een comand\u0103 , ca s\u0103 fie slotul de livrare asigurat, dau comanda \u0219i pot s-o modific p\u00e2n\u0103 seara de dinainte, la ora 23:00. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i dac\u0103 nu uit s\u0103 debifez c\u0103 nu vreau s\u0103-mi pun\u0103 produse \u00eenlocuitoare, C\u0102 NU VREAU AP\u0102 LA 0.5 litri \u00een loc de ap\u0103 la 5 litri, \u00eemi \u0219i aduc ce am cerut. Dac\u0103 le au, dac\u0103 nu \u201dmuie, fraiere! de ce nu ai pus produse \u00eenlocuitoare.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mai bine a\u0219a, oarecum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cu excep\u021bia c\u0103 lista adev\u0103rat\u0103 se completeaz\u0103 mereu \u00een seara de dinainte de comand\u0103, oarecum normal, c\u0103 nu \u0219tiu ce se termin\u0103 exact c\u00e2nd. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 c\u0103 m\u0103 mai \u0219i gr\u0103besc pe la orele alea c\u00e2nd vreau s\u0103 \u00eenchid comanda \u0219i ap\u0103s din nou checkout \u0219i haida nic\u0103ieri. Stai, unde te duci, p\u0103i sigur nu ai uitat s\u0103 cumperi vreunul din produsele pe care vrem noi s\u0103 \u021bi le vindem acum? \u0218i dup\u0103 aia , avertisment, vezi c\u0103 \u201dai uitat\u201d s\u0103 pui \u00eenlocuitori. \u0218i dup\u0103 aia mai reproceseaz\u0103 ei o dat\u0103 comanda \u0219i scriu c\u0103 au acceptat modific\u0103rile \u0219i pula mea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eh, eu sunt mai pe grab\u0103 \u0219i pe pilot automat \u0219i \u00eei ur\u0103sc din to\u021bi r\u0103runchii , c\u0103 2 din 5 dintr-un motiv care \u00eemi scap\u0103, nu se updateaz\u0103 comanda \u0219i o fac degeaba, adic\u0103 pula mea, tot trebuie s\u0103 ajung pe picioare la supermarket lua-le-a\u0219 mor\u021bii la pul\u0103. \u0218i al\u021bi 2 din 5 se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 nu aib\u0103 vreun produs esen\u021bial \u0219i tot aia e. Ini\u021bial am crezut c\u0103 sigur fac mi\u0219to, c\u0103 n-au cum s\u0103 nu aib\u0103 p\u00e2ine, ou\u0103, nu \u0219tiu ce, nu \u0219tiu ce. Dup\u0103 care am tot observat recent c\u0103 se mai \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 nu aib\u0103. Ba nu li se ou\u0103 g\u0103inile, ba nu le merge fabrica de h\u00e2rtie de copt – azi am luat ultima rol\u0103, ba plm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

B\u0103, efectiv nu \u0219tiu ce au cu mine. OK, nu merge cu online-ul, m\u0103 vrei \u00een magazin ? \u021aine-l \u00een mor\u021bii m\u0103-tii \u00eentr-un fel s\u0103 apuc s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b produsele, c\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b la ele mai ceva ca la noile tehnologii SAP \u0219i alta nu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C\u0103 eu m-am g\u00e2ndit de vreo 6 luni – b\u0103, s\u0103 vezi c\u0103 \u0103\u0219tia nu ne mai vor \u00een magazine \u0219i ne alearg\u0103 prin raioane p\u00e2n\u0103 ne prindem. Hai c\u0103 m\u0103 prind eu repede \u0219i dau comand\u0103 – p\u0103i atunci f\u0103-o s\u0103 mearg\u0103 gan\u021b\u0103, futu-i mama ei de comand\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acum aproape 8 ani- vai de pula mea c\u00e2t timp a trecut – d\u0103deam comenzi \u00een Bucure\u0219ti la Cora <\/a>– erau la 10 minute de mine, dar \u00eemi e SC\u00c2RB\u0102 s\u0103-mi petrec via\u021ba \u00een magazine. Aveau \u0219i \u0103ia, acum 8 ani, probleme similare, dar pula mea, alt\u0103 tehnologie, era la \u00eenceput de drum, etc. P\u00e2n\u0103 m-am mutat din Bucure\u0219ti li s-a \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bit serviciul. Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 acum e mai bun dec\u00e2t al \u0103stora de la Sainsbury din UK, m\u0103 pot a\u0219tepta la orice, dar rezonabil ar fi c\u0103 nu are cum s\u0103 fie ca la \u0103\u0219tia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dac\u0103 nu mai scriu p-aici \u00eentreba\u021bi de mine la pu\u0219c\u0103rie. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Preferabil pe r\u00e2nd, ca s\u0103 nu risc s-o iau eu pe cocoa\u0219\u0103. C\u00e2nd am plecat de acas\u0103 voiam s\u0103 bat numai unul, c\u0103 cu g\u00e2ndul…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17345,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,1594],"tags":[5767,5768],"class_list":["post-26979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general-trash","category-uk","tag-cumparaturi-la-sainsburys","tag-supermarketurile-schimba-aranjarea-produselor"],"views":766,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/sainsbury-raionul-de-vinuri-gol6689177205259770948.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-719","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26979","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26979"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26979\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27007,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26979\/revisions\/27007"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/17345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}