{"id":2872,"date":"2015-08-26T21:18:57","date_gmt":"2015-08-26T19:18:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=2872"},"modified":"2015-08-26T22:57:56","modified_gmt":"2015-08-26T20:57:56","slug":"vindaloo-shit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=2872","title":{"rendered":"Vindaloo shit"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"fb-root\"><\/div>\n<p>Vindaloo orice. \u00cen poza asta Lamm ( adic\u0103 mielu&#8217;).<\/p>\n<p>Orice ar fi te caci cioburi. E bun. E bun de doare.<br \/>\nPumnale \u00eemi sparg burta din toate p\u0103r\u021bile. Dar limba,&nbsp; limba umflata de doi co\u021bi mai vrea tortura. Gatul ma ustura da-l dreg cu orez \u0219i vin.&nbsp;<br \/>\n\u00cemi tremura furculi\u021ba,&nbsp; o imbucatura cade pe ecranul telefonului \u00een timp ce scriu. O \u0219terg cu prosopul alb, dar telefonul deja e \u00een fibrila\u021bie. Ecranul p\u00e2lp\u00e2ie.&nbsp; Ba nu, \u00eemi p\u00e2lp\u00e2ie mie vederea.&nbsp; <\/p>\n<p>Fuckin&#8217;&nbsp; indian spicy! Am sa ma cac ca aspersorul,&nbsp; dar fericit.<br \/>\nColegii urla la mine:<br \/>\n-Ho bah, dac\u0103 mai m\u0103n\u00e2nci mori!<br \/>\nLe r\u0103spund cu clasicul &#8220;ce, ma, dac\u0103 nu m\u0103n\u00e2nc nu mor?&#8221; \u0219i continui.<\/p>\n<p>Am desf\u0103cut deja doi nasturi la c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 \u0219i nu cred ca ajung. Sper sa ma opresc pana la nasturii de la pantaloni.<br \/>\nNevasta <em>needn&#8217;t worry <\/em>nu cred ca se mai scoala ceva 10 metri im jurul meu pentru 5 zile. Nu-i nimic porno.<\/p>\n<p>Simt o for\u021b\u0103 constrictoare care \u00eencetine\u0219te pana \u0219i expansiunea universului.<\/p>\n<p>Vacuumul din stomac \u00eemi soarbe p\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i ochii \u00een orbite.&nbsp; I-a\u0219 \u021bine cu mana dar tre&#8217; sa merg la baie sa ma sp\u0103l.&nbsp; Sa pun degetele iu\u021bi \u00een ochi ar \u00eensemna s\u0103 m\u0103 sinucid.<\/p>\n<p>Vinul ro\u0219u \u00eemi lini\u0219te\u0219te limba&nbsp; deja teflonata.<br \/>\nG\u00e2ndurile mi se \u00eentorc \u00eenapoi odat\u0103 cu el. \u00cemi revine mirosul.<\/p>\n<p>Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd o sulita \u00eemi str\u0103punge m\u0103runtaiele \u0219i sim\u021b cum&nbsp; vinul inverseaz\u0103 mersul universului din burta mea. Locul vacuumului central \u00eei este luat de o \u00eencercare de big bang. <\/p>\n<p>O st\u0103p\u00e2nesc.&nbsp; Nu e frumos sa faci big-bang \u00een public. Dar ma arde.<br \/>\nGustul \u00eenc\u0103 persist\u0103 .&nbsp; Era o reclama: Via\u021ba-i scurt\u0103 ,&nbsp; gustu-i lung. Parca la&nbsp; Stimorol.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vindaloo orice. \u00cen poza asta Lamm ( adic\u0103 mielu&#8217;). Orice ar fi te caci cioburi. E bun. E bun de doare. Pumnale \u00eemi sparg burta&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2871,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[562,561],"class_list":["post-2872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-vinda-fucking-loo","tag-vindaloo"],"views":1713,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/wpid-wp-1440616720751.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-Kk","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2872"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2872\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2876,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2872\/revisions\/2876"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2871"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}