{"id":9505,"date":"2017-09-11T12:40:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-11T10:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=9505"},"modified":"2017-09-11T15:30:59","modified_gmt":"2017-09-11T13:30:59","slug":"zbor-de-cosmar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/?p=9505","title":{"rendered":"Zbor de co\u0219mar\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n

Nici nu m\u0103 urc cu ambele picioare \u00een avion \u0219i m\u0103 ia somnul. Ca fra\u021bii lu’ Praslea, \u00a0m\u0103 a\u0219ez pe scaun deja deconectat de la aparate \u0219i dus sunt. \u00a0Folosesc p\u0103l\u0103ria drept pern\u0103.<\/p>\n

Somnul meu e unul blan\u0103 mereu. Eu nu visez, \u00a0cu excep\u021bia cazului c\u00e2nd am co\u0219maruri. Sau probabil c\u0103 nu \u00eemi aduc aminte ce visez c\u00e2nd nu am<\/p>\n

co\u0219<\/b>maruri<\/b>.<\/p>\n

\u00cen copil\u0103rie aveam numai d-alea lungi, \u00a0care de durau toat\u0103 noaptea, \u00a0cu chin \u0219i zbateri \u0219i visat mon\u0219tri, draci \u0219i demoni, care m\u0103 alergau din cele mai dubioase motive, \u00a0cum ar fi c\u0103 am m\u00e2ncat cu dulce, \u00a0c\u0103 am 🚬 fumat, sau c\u0103 mi-am bagat pula \u00een Dumnezeu \u0219i \u00een to\u021bi sfin\u021bii lui, sau c\u0103 mi-am pierdut cruciuli\u021ba de la g\u00e2t. \u0218i niciun totem, sau ritual cretin, nu-i oprea din a m\u0103 alerga toat\u0103 noaptea prin pat \u0219i din a m\u0103 schingiui, de m\u0103 trezeam cu perna plin\u0103 \u00a0de lacrimi \u0219i bale \u0219i nu mai \u00eemi venea s\u0103 m\u0103 culc vreodat\u0103. \u00a0Dap, asta e incurajare s\u0103 v\u0103 trimite\u021bi copiii la biseric\u0103, dragii mo\u0219ului. \u00a0Locurile alea \u00eentunecoase \u0219i reci, \u00a0cu poze de mor\u021bi \u00een tablouri \u0219i pe pere\u021bi, le-a\u0219 fi putut lua drept orice mai pu\u021bin casa lu’ dumnezeu, dac\u0103 nu cumva dumnezeu era unul din mon\u0219trii n\u0103scociti de mintea mea.<\/p>\n

Nu \u00eemi aduc aminte s\u0103 \u00eemi fi fost vreodat\u0103 fric\u0103 treaz la fel ca \u00een somn, nici m\u0103car pe aproape, semn c\u0103 mintea mea e cea mai mare amenin\u021bare.<\/p>\n

\u00cen timp mi-am dat seama c\u0103 dac\u0103 m\u0103 alearg\u0103 vreun monstru e foarte probabil c\u0103 dorm \u0219i e cazul s\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc, \u00a0preferabil \u00eenainte s\u0103 m\u0103 pis pe mine. \u0218i mi-am impus nivelul \u0103sta de autocontrol cumva. Nu \u0219tiu cum, dar brusc co\u0219marurile mele au \u00eenceput s\u0103 dureze c\u00e2teva secunde, \u00a0relativ la filmul ac\u021biunii, \u00a0nu la timpul real, c\u0103 habar nu am cu ce fps visez. \u00a0Dup\u0103 care mon\u0219trii au \u00eenceput s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai sperie, c\u0103 \u0219tii cum e, odat\u0103 ce devii lucid \u00een vis e mai amuzant s\u0103 schimbi direc\u021bia alerg\u0103rii dec\u00e2t s\u0103 te treze\u0219ti. \u00a0Mintea mea tot m\u0103 surprindea cu noi moduri de a m\u0103 speria, dar din ce \u00een ce mai rar, p\u00e2n\u0103 am \u00eenceput s\u0103 nu mai visez, \u00a0dup\u0103 cum am zis. Presupun c\u0103 partea aia din creier care se ocup\u0103 cu fabrica de vise \u0219i-a zis “du-te, b\u0103, \u00een pula mea, c\u0103 strici toat\u0103 distrac\u021bia, \u00a0ia \u0219i dormi cu televizorul stins, \u00a0atunci.” \u00a0Mai bine.<\/p>\n

Dar din Joi \u00een Pa\u0219te mai am co\u0219maruri, \u00a0multe \u0219i scurte, c\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc imediat. \u0218i cum adorm la loc o iau de la cap\u0103t.<\/p>\n

Ca acum. Nu plecase bine avionul, dar sim\u021beam c\u0103 \u00eemi leag\u0103n\u0103 somnul \u0219i prin pleoapele \u00eenchise vedeam geana de lumin\u0103 a r\u0103s\u0103ritului. A r\u0103s\u0103ritului din iad. Un soare mare \u0219i negru se arata la orizont, \u00a0tot mai mare, iar \u00een jurul lui se \u00eenf\u0103\u0219urau fl\u0103c\u0103ri \u00a0iar avionul se balanganea fumegand printre mii de ziare care ardeau scurt \u0219i se pref\u0103ceau \u00een scrum. \u00a0O ploaie \u00eenf\u0103\u0219ura avionul \u0219i \u00eel \u00eendrepta cu botul \u00een jos de vedeam p\u0103m\u00e2ntul, iar \u00een jur auzeam ceva de Harvey \u0219i Irma. Mda, m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam eu c\u0103 o s\u0103 ajung c\u00e2ndva \u00een iad, dar dac\u0103 e s\u0103 fie cu avionul, a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 zbor la business.<\/p>\n

Pa\u0219tele m\u0103-sii, \u00eemi zic, nici nu adormii bine. Eram a\u0219a de obosit c\u0103 a\u0219 fi dormit cu tot cu co\u0219mar, \u00a0cu to\u021bi dracii din iad c\u0103lare pe mine, dar m\u0103 enerva mirosul de fum a\u0219a c\u0103 zic m\u0103car s\u0103 schimb co\u0219marul. Mai tare m-am speriat c\u00e2nd am deschis ochii \u0219i am v\u0103zut iadul. \u0218tiu c\u0103 e doar o poza difuz\u0103, \u00a0dar perspectiva e alta c\u00e2nd te \u00eentorci din iad.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

M\u0103 culc pe partea ailalt\u0103, \u00a0o pul\u0103, c\u0103 sunt \u00eentr-un scaun, e o singur\u0103 parte \u0219i dou\u0103 pozi\u021bii, \u00a0cu capul pe geam sau pe m\u0103su\u021ba de pe scaunul din fa\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Cum \u00eenchid ochii avionul zboar\u0103 \u00een sus vertical \u0219i-mi zic “numai bine, dorm pe spate”. \u00a0V\u0103d o stewardesa cum coboar\u0103 pe podeaua \u00eenclinat\u0103 90 de grade, cu o drujba imens\u0103 \u00een bra\u021be. \u00a0Drujba e ok, cred c\u0103 e Husqvarna, \u00a0c\u0103-i portocalie, \u00a0de\u0219i e ciudat, c\u0103 nu sunt pe segmentul c\u0103tre Copenhaga, \u00a0p\u00e2n\u0103 la Frankfurt ar trebui \u0103\u0219tia s\u0103 aib\u0103 drujbe Stihl, \u00a0dar m\u0103 oripileaz\u0103 faptul c\u0103 e dezbr\u0103cat\u0103 de la br\u00e2u \u00een jos. Vai ce nespalata. \u00a0D\u0103-o, b\u0103, \u00a0\u00een s\u00e2nge, \u00a0nici stewardesele nu mai sunt ce erau, dac\u0103 era transsexual chiar c\u0103 m\u0103 speriam. \u00a0Deschid ochii \u0219i o vad pe stewardesa un pic aplecata peste \u0103la de pe scaunul C, \u00a0uit\u00e2ndu-se la mine cu ni\u0219te ochi ca de bovina: “Anything to drink for you, sir? ”<\/p>\n

-Muuuu. Nein, \u00a0danke sehr.<\/p>\n

M\u0103car e \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103, dar \u00eemi imaginez balaurii de sub fusta gata s\u0103 ias\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u0218i m\u0103 culc la loc.<\/p>\n

Aterizez \u00een Frankfurt \u0219i m\u0103 duc direct la lounge. \u00cemi cer \u0103ia cardul silver \u0219i dau s\u0103 \u00eel scot din portofel, da’ nu e. \u00cemi cad o roab\u0103 de carduri pe jos, \u00a0m\u0103 uit printre ele \u0219i tot nu e. \u00cemi cere cartea de \u00eembarcare, \u00a0\u00eei dau telefonul \u0219i m\u0103 las\u0103 s\u0103 intru. Fir-ar c\u0103\u021beaua m\u0103-sii a dracu’, \u00a0acum s\u0103 str\u00e2ng\u0103 el toate alea de pe jos.<\/p>\n

Nu merge wirelessul, net prin cablu, alt co\u0219mar, frate?! \u00cei aud pe doi gra\u0219i cum zic ceva de “ba, \u00a0ai v\u0103zut chestia aia c\u00e2nd te conectezi la un ftp?” \u00a0\u00een timp ce eu bag cablul. \u00cen timp ce m\u0103 uit cu coada ochiului la \u0103ia, \u00eenfig cablul si deschid un putty de intru pe server \u0219i m\u0103 dau pe ftp pe un alt server. \u00a0Se deschid dou\u0103 poze mai mari dec\u00e2t ecranul, cu ni\u0219te ursule\u021bi care \u00eemi zic c\u0103 \u00eemi cripteaza datele. \u00a0\u00cenchid capacul, scot cablul \u0219i dau s\u0103 rebootez in safe mode, nu merge, de cum se deschide \u00eencepe s\u0103 numere procente de date criptate. Aia doi gra\u0219i \u00a0dezlipesc, \u00a0r\u00e2z\u00e2nd, ni\u0219te chipuri wearable \u00a0de pe cablul de net cu pozele ursuletilor pe ele \u0219i pleac\u0103. Ei, c\u0103cat; \u00a0pentru at\u00e2ta lucru nici nu m\u0103 trezesc, \u00a0ia s\u0103 vezi cum decriptez eu toate datele doar \u00a0deschiz\u00e2nd ochii. Dar mai \u00eencolo. \u00a0Se cere \u00eembarcarea \u0219i plec la poart\u0103. La Frankfurt \u00eentre lounge-ul de la por\u021bile “A” \u0219i “B” e un tunel de vreo jum\u0103tate de kilometru pe care \u00eel faci per pedes. Dup\u0103 doi kilometri de mers \u00een tunelul \u0103la ajung de unde am plecat. \u0218i lumea trece pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine \u00een vitez\u0103, \u00a0\u00eemi aga\u021b\u0103 trolerul,m\u0103 \u00eemping. I-a\u0219 bate dar m\u0103 gr\u0103besc. \u00a0Ah, scurtatura. \u00a0Rup un afi\u0219 publicitar \u0219i caut gura tunelului care \u0219tiu c\u0103 e \u00een spatele lui. \u00a0E. \u00a0\u0218i ni\u0219te biciclete acolo. Ma sui pe una \u0219i merg cu o m\u00e2n\u0103 pe troler, \u00a0cu una pe corn, \u0219mecherie, nici nu \u0219tiam c\u0103 merg a\u0219a bine pe biciclet\u0103. P\u00e2n\u0103 ajung pe podeaua aia din smoal\u0103 care m\u0103 \u021bine \u00een loc \u0219i \u00eemi smulge trolerul din m\u00e2n\u0103. \u00a0\u00cel pun pe coarne. Ro\u021bile se afund\u0103 \u00een smoal\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 la spi\u021be \u0219i e mai greu s\u0103 pedalez dec\u00e2t s\u0103 merg. \u00a0Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 mine se umple de bicicli\u0219ti care arunc\u0103 dare de smoal\u0103 \u00een spate. Eu-s \u00eenfipt aproape p\u00e2n\u0103 la genunchi. Bag picioarele, nu mai deschid \u00eenc\u0103 o dat\u0103 ochii. M\u0103 culc acolo pe smoal\u0103. \u00a0Stewardesa ma treze\u0219te c\u0103 am aterizat \u0219i m\u0103 a\u0219teapt\u0103 autobuzul.<\/p>\n

Laptopul, \u00a0trolerul – \u0219i m\u0103 duc direct la lounge. \u00a0Am cartea de \u00eembarcare pe telefon \u0219i nu \u00eemi cer \u0103ia niciun card. Ce card, coaie, m\u0103 mi\u0219c de zici c\u0103 sunt automat. Ugh, cardul. Cardul de acces la birou, pe \u0103la l-am uitat acas\u0103, \u00a0b\u0103ga-mi-as, e \u00een sacoul de s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103, cred. Eh cer altul.<\/p>\n

M\u0103car au internet wireless, lol. M\u0103 a\u0219ez la o mas\u0103 \u0219i tastez. Lipse\u0219te ceva. P\u0103l\u0103ria. Unde…<\/p>\n

Ooo, a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 m\u0103 mai trezesc o dat\u0103, \u00a0dar nu merge a\u0219a. \u00a0Din co\u0219marul \u0103sta nu ma trezesc neam. Pe fiecare an pierd, ba un fular, ba o p\u0103l\u0103rie, \u00a0cele mai multe \u00eembog\u0103\u021besc garderoba Lufthansa.<\/p>\n

Vezi, co\u0219marele sunt semne. Semne c\u0103-s bou cu pedale. \u00a0Acum umblu cu capul gol prin ploaie. O s\u0103 r\u0103cesc la creieri. Nu-i bai, \u00a0\u0219i-a\u0219a pare c\u0103 nu am nimic \u00een\u0103untru.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Somnul meu e unul blan\u0103 mereu. Eu nu visez, \u00a0cu excep\u021bia cazului c\u00e2nd am co\u0219maruri. Sau probabil c\u0103 nu \u00eemi aduc aminte ce visez c\u00e2nd nu am<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9504,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[614,571,12,82,1],"tags":[2067,2068,2065,2069,2066],"class_list":["post-9505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bio","category-life-log","category-lufthansa","category-prin-lume","category-uncategorized","tag-cosmar","tag-monstri","tag-pierdut-palarie","tag-somn-in-avion","tag-uituc"],"views":2394,"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/DSC_1965-02.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Eq23-2tj","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9505"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9505\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9508,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9505\/revisions\/9508"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9504"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catalinx.ro\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}